What’s your say on lobola?
Times have changed and we are living in modern times but where does this leave traditional customs, specifically lobola?
Southern African people have practised the culture of lobola for many, many years. Lobola is defined as a bride price, traditionally one paid in cattle, but in modern times, often paid in money. The bride price is paid to the family of the bride as a token of appreciation for their efforts in the upbringing of their daughter. The lobola ceremony is of the highest importance because it is union of the two families and also ancestors.
Some families can claim up to 50 cows or R100 000 because their daughter is a doctor or a lawyer, and they want to recover all the costs of her education. The lowest bride price is estimated to be four cows or R15 000.
Many weddings have been cancelled because the bride price was too high and the family could not pay the amount claimed. In some cases, the love the couple had becomes strained and some wives never hear the end of how expensive they were. This could, in turn, lead to a very abusive relationship or bitterness.
At the beginning of the negotiations, the tension between the two families is broken by the offer of a bottle of brandy (pulamolomo in Sesotho or vul’umlomo in isiZulu) by the groom’s family to the bride’s family, and only after the bride’s family accepts the gift can the negotiations start.
The lobola negotiations are not carried out by the parents of the prospective groom but by his relatives, such as his uncles and aunts. During negotiations, there are rules that need to be respected.
However, African people nowadays seem to be ditching their cultural customs and roots, due to the Western culture they have adopted. These days, lobola does not carry the same meaning it used to carry in the olden days. Nowadays women who are desperate for marriage pay their own lobola by giving the future husband money, which he then pretends is his money that he’s been saving.
Take part in our survey on our facebook page, and tell us if you think lobola is still relevant in the modern South African time.
Sources: https://makambaonline.com, https://www.news24.com, https://www.chronicle.co.za and https://www.golimag.co.za.
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