Kritiek Aster — Fausse pudeur (September 2013)

Olivetti 45 — Thank you for the drink the other night, history-driven Roodepoort author.

I mean, which author buys the journalist that is pestering him a brandy and Coke?

Then telling her all sorts of fibs to get her off his back? Did you think I was desperate for a drink I couldn’t afford? Brandy and Coca-Cola, if anything, is quite the Caxton drink.

Affordable.

Goes at R20 to R25, depending on where you want it. In Potchefstroom a “double” triple brandy and Coke cost me R8 in 2012.

Unfortunately, Yoof closed after that. For someone who doesn’t drink beer at all (yes, I had this discussion with you last week, people, I’m a brandy type of girl) it’s the only real alternative. Unless you drink Smirnoff Brutal Fruit-who-gives-a-hoot sletsappies.

Don’t dare judge me for the few times I had these sletsappies; my inconsiderate friends might have taken me to a really expensive watering hole (or I could’ve had too many brandy-and-coke specials or I only had R18 and not twenty warranting me a less potent, less tasteful drink).

But I digress.

I didn’t know what to make of this author. I don’t know whether he was really beskeie or treating me to a shot of false modesty.

Instead of speaking to the journalist about his views, his creative process and his vice, he told me about the two other men (also attending the book launch) Mill and Bill who supposedly gave more input than he did.

I mean, sure, the book handled Mill’s life as a detective in apartheid years and Bill was, I guess, a brilliant point of reference but you wrote the damn thing, sign it and smile and be more perky.

I know that’s the thought that would’ve crossed or might one day cross my mind when I have the book launch and after party at a Lindhaven watering hole, especially of my third successful book.

However, I admire you.

Verraaiers was the best I’ve seen among post-apartheid Afrikaans films and it’s all because of your historically accurate, née, historically contributive first book.

Since I had seen saw the film and got the gist of the story, I bought Boerekryger at this launch party and was about to leave to withdraw some more money from my R3-‘n-maand bank account for the new one when you finally did smile, told me not to worry about it, and signed the book. Mill did too.

Secretly I was over the moon.

I’m on page 52 and I’m marvelling at every researched word.

Mill might be one of my favourite “characters”; he reminds me of my grandfather a lot. A lot. My usually critical father is very excited to read it when I’m done, which will be soon.

And seriously, Mr Author Man, who launches a book on a Monday night and doesn’t tell a single media house about it? Who?