Help a Witpoortjie mother feel beautiful
People can tell a woman she is beautiful, but if she doesn't feel beautiful, then those positive words fall on deaf ears. All Ellie James wants, is to believe those words.
As a woman, the desire to feel beautiful and feel accepted plays a huge role in our lives. We not only want to be told that we are beautiful, but we want to feel like that for ourselves.
The problem is, a lot of judgement gets passed around, aimed at both men and women, leaving many people with a low self-esteem and bruised confidence. We are our own worst critics, so even if someone compliments us, we don’t believe them because we don’t have confidence in ourselves.
Ellie James is a 40-year-old woman from Witpoortjie who has struggled with her confidence for most of her life. She did not have the most glamorous upbringing, but she has done her best to see the silver lining in a negative situation.
When Ellie was seven years old, she noticed that she was not like the other girls in her school and her neighbourhood, and her mother started to notice it as well. After taking Ellie to a few doctors, it was confirmed that she had Poland Syndrome, a birth defect characterised by underdeveloped chest muscles, and in extreme cases, webbed fingers and other deformities on the body.
The underdeveloped muscles are on the right side of Ellie’s chest, leaving it slightly concave and a lot smaller than her left side. Growing up, her peers didn’t always understand her condition, so not only was she bullied, she did not feel normal. She watched her friends go through puberty and start to develop in ways she wouldn’t be able to, which fractured her confidence even more.
Another shock came when Ellie was in her late teens and she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. After two years of treatment, she thankfully went into remission at the age of 19 and currently goes for bi-yearly checkups to make sure she stays that way. Despite all she has been through – not only physically, but emotionally – Ellie tries to stay positive and spread as much love and positivity as possible.
She is happily married and is a mother; however, she still doesn’t feel like a woman sometimes. “I don’t feel beautiful, even when my husband tells me I am. I struggle to believe him.”
Poland Syndrome is only treatable through surgery, and though it is not life-threatening to Ellie, her greatest wish is to feel whole. She said all that she wants is to feel beautiful, not for anyone else, but for herself; she wants to feel normal. She added that being able to put on something nice for her husband without feeling self-conscious would also be a huge plus.
After numerous consultations, Ellie has decided that she would like reconstructive surgery to fix the right side of her chest. Unfortunately, due to circumstances in her previous marriage, she is unable to apply for a loan to go through with the procedure. She is saving wherever she can, but the surgery is still extremely expensive so she cannot do it alone. Ellie is asking for the community’s help with financing her procedure which will come to a total of R48 292.
If anyone is able to help, please visit Ellie’s BackaBuddy page www.backabuddy.co.za/champion/project/ellie-james and donate, or contact Ellie to find out more about her and how to help. Ellie can be reached on 066 287 8269.
