Bedroefdeland — Yes I am back. And things have been boiling up in me like in a pressure cooker. Last time toe ek die rubriekie skryf het ek mos begin karring met die election storie. Thought I was funny. Well not so.
Seg een van my fêns toe mos via social media vir my die volgende. (Yes, ponder this fellow Sêf Efricans. Before you draw your cross in next years’ election remember that same cross could become a memorial to freedom and democracy …)
If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years’ hard labour. If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot. Kaboom. If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed. If you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard of again. If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will rot in a political prison.
MAAR. If you cross the Sêf Efrican border illegally you will … get a job, a driver’s licence, a pension card, welfare grants, credit cards, a house, a free education and free healthcare. Lekker nê? But wait. There’s more. If you cross Beit Bridge right now, other perks will include weapons of your choice and in the beloved country you can murder, use drugs, drink and drive, steal and rape. Maar asb tog South Africans don’t smoke in a public place – it’s Illegal! (Whoever thought of this one is a genius.)
So think before you ‘cross’ next year.
And this week’s Stupid People Shouldn’t Breed Award goes to … Those esteemed members of the ANC who accused Fazela Mohamed, the registrar of members’ interests, and Ben Turok of having been ‘culturaly insensitive’ when they came down on disgraced Minister of Communications Dina Pule for her handing millions worth of tenders to her boyfriend and not declaring it. Are you freaking serious?! Are they actually finally admitting that corruption is their culture and that we shouldn’t be insensitive to it? Klap my met ‘n boegoebos! And then everybody broke down teary eyed and gave her a hug …
Goeie moer.
